I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.
I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.”
While Mrs. Dalloway ends with Clarissa sympathizing with Septimus and even understanding his decision, this same empathy was not granted to Virginia. The British public lambasted her death as an act of unpatriotic cowardice rather than a choice made by a profoundly ill woman.
Despite the trauma and sickness that plagued so much of Virginia’s life, she left behind a treasure trove of genius and insight. Not only were her novels wholly inventive in their style, structure, and the deep consideration they gave to the inner lives of her characters, but queer and feminist texts such as Orlando and A Room of One’s Own would inspire scholars and writers for generations to come. Orlando’s gender-bending was decades ahead of its time, and A Room of One’s Own would become a foundational feminist text, calling us to question how many genius women writers were stifled by their circumstances.